My Love Is Forever
by AndThenYou
Summary: Damon decides to flip the switch and turn his emotions off again. But what is he going to do, when he hears a certain confession that Elena makes?
1. Chapter 1

I was asleep when a loud thunder made me wake up.

I had been three hours on my computer searching for new informations about Stefan and Klaus, but when my eyelids grow heavy and my brain couldn't take it anymore, I fell asleep, just shutting out the world for a few hours.

I quickly rosed up, sighing in exasperation. I got to my computer again, and knowing that I had collected everything I could that day, I printed a few papers about what I thought we could have used. I thought that I could have brought them to Damon, I know that it was late and that it was raining, but I had to get it off my chest and ask his opinion. And he was a vampire..so it's not that late night or early morning really counts that much after all.

Most of all, searching for murderers and reading every single detail of them, to then presume if it could have been Stefan or not, made me feel sick. Like I was a sick person in search of sick things.

I put on a comfy black gym suit and took my bag, inserting the papers that I printed in it. When I got to the living room, there were Alaric and Jeremy watching TV. When they noticed that I was going out, Alaric turned around with a confused and little concerned expression.

"Where are you going?" He asked me, furrowing his brows. Jeremy turned around as well to look at me.

"At the boarding house." I just said, shrugging.

"At midnight? And when it's raining like that?" Jeremy asked me, as if I was crazy.

I wanted to snort, but I knew that they were right.

"Hey. I can take care of myself, okay? Don't worry. I'll be back soon..or I will just spend the night there." I reassured them.

"Then I'll take you, or ask Damon to pick you up, or to come here." Alaric stated, rosing up, and ready to put on his jacket.

"Ric, no. It's okay. I've already tried to reach Damon but he's not answering. And besides, I think that I'm better off with myself than with you.." I teased him rosing my eyebrows, clearly referring to his almost-there-alcoholism.

He looked guilty for a few moments, before nodding unsurely.

"Fine…but be careful." He said, with Jeremy nodding beside him with the same concerned expression.

I got out of the door and headed towards my car. When I was in, I took a few seconds to think about how messed up my life was.

I had pratically an alcoholic in my house, who by the way was my dead's aunt boyfriend. A brother who talked to himself, and a ripper as a boyfriend. Just wow. And then there was Damon…I had to admit that in the past two months, he had been my rock. I'm sure that if it wasn't for him, I couldn't have make it. Beside his new girlfriend, Andie the Slut, I mean Andie Starr, who was always sneaking around the boarding house not even bothering to put something else on but Damon's shirts, he was always there for me and we supported each other.

The one thing that we didn't ever talk about was the whole bed kissy thing. I think that we told themselves that we didn't have the time, that we had to focus on finding Stefan or that it simply meant nothing, but I knew better. I knew that it was because we were scared, and it felt awkward, and that we didn't know what to say or feel about it.

The truth was that I didn't know how I felt anymore. I loved Stefan, it was something that I was always so sure about, his love was the safest place I could have thought about. At least until a while ago. Now? Now I wasn't so sure about what to think or believe. I wanted to play dumb, and pretend that he would always be the Stefan that I knew and fell in love with, but thruthfully, he wasn't. He lied to me about everything he was, everything he had done. And I couldn't help but think at what kind of relationship did we have. Why did he hide all those things to me? Didn't I deserve to know, or was he scared that I would have rejected him? Damon told me about his past, telling me and showing me what was he capable of, and even though at first I didn't want to believe him, I did researches on my own and I found out about a lot of things, lots of twisted sick games that he did and I felt awful about it.

What I wasn't so sure about as well, was what I felt for Damon. It was a powerful feeling, something that I didn't quite felt before, not even with Stefan. I tried to shrug it off my mind because I knew that it was so wrong. I mean, you just don't fall for your boyfriend's brother, it's wrong on so many levels and I felt awfully guilty about it. But I couldn't help but think if I did, or if I just needed him and his comfort right now. I cursed myself for that, and not wanting to think about it anymore, I quickly headed to the boarding house.

Luckily during the way it started raining a little less, and in ten minutes I was there.

I took a deep breath and ran towards the house. I shrugged off the water from my shoes on the mat and fixed my hair a little. I got in without even knocking. Damon never really locked the door, and I always sneaked in, both him and Stefan were used to that.

I was about to call his name when I heard moans and laughs from the living room. Immediatly my heart skipped a beat and it started beating faster than I would have liked it to. I didn't know why, but it just did, and I had the urge to check on what was going on. Pretty masochist, I know.

The part that bugged me the most was that it wasn't even Andie's sing-songing voice, which now I was used to, it was different.

I tip toed quietly and I leaned against the door frame of the leaving room, hiding behind it. And I couldn't believe what I saw. I hadn't seen her for months, she was gone after Elijah showed up and from there on I thought that she simply run. What the hell was Rose doing here? And naked? And with Damon?

I felt the urge to slap her in the face, and I thought that I had gone insane. I had no rights to do that. For some strange reasons she bothered me more than Andie. Maybe because I knew that Andie was just Damon's distraction, and even though she genuinely liked him and I could say that he liked her too, she was still under some fort of compulsion. With Rose it felt different. She had some sort of a bond with Damon and I wanted to do bad bad things to that woman right now.

I was the only one allowed to have that bond with him. I felt angry, sad, and most of all betrayed. And the funny things was that I seriously had no rights to fell such things, Damon could do whatever he wanted to, and I shouldn't give a fuck about it. But still, it was so annoying to see.

They were pratically making out after sex. They were both on the floor. Damon had on his legs a blanket, to cover..his most intimate parts. And Rose was wearing his fucking t-shirt.

Suddenly I felt tears blurring my vision and I needed to scream, so I quickly started to run towards the door, when I felt strong arms gripping at my throat.

Damon was growling and had vamped out, and for my pleasure – or not – I noticed that he had put some pants on, still unzipped, though.

It was then that I left the tears streaming down my face, and I pretended that it was because of Damon's reaction.

When he saw that it was me, he immediatly let go of me and he had mixed feelings on his face. Guilt, worry, confusion..

"Elena..what are you doing here?" He then asked, genuine confusion on his face.

I'm here because I want to show you what I've got about Stefan and I just can't stand this whole damned thing anymore because for the love of me it makes me sick, but I see that you're too busy fucking Rose..I wanted to yell.

I quickly wiped the hot tears away from my face, and when he noticed that I was crying, his face was full of guilt.

"I'm so sorry.." He said trying to touch my arms, and even though I didn't know for what he was apologizing for, I quickly but convincedly shrugged him off me, giving him a hard and cold stare.

"I was here just to give you these. It's about Stefan. He's probably in Tennessee." I spat out, pratically throwing the papers in his hands and quickly going out of the door.

I ran to my car, and for the whole way home, I tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to escape.

I parked quickly, heading inside and running straight into my bedroom.

I closed my windows, actually locked them, just so Damon wouldn't think about his usual visits into my room.

I throwed myself on the bed, buring my face into the pillows and sobbing. I felt like a complete idiot. Here I was sobbing and crying over someone who wasn't even my boyfriend, that didn't owe me anything.

I had been so delusional. For the whole summer I had cling onto Damon, onto his love, because I knew for sure that he loved me. And I had been so overhelmed by that feeling, that seeing him returning his affections to someone else hurt. A lot.

After I had calmed down a bit, I went into the bathroom, taking off my make-up and putting on my pajama.

When I was back, I checked my phone and there was one new text. From Damon. I rolled my eyes, because suddenly his name annoyed me.

_"Meet me at the grill. 11am."_ There was just written. I didn't want to face him, not really see him for that matter, but I know that I had to.

One, because I didn't want to seem childish, and two, because it would have been about Stefan anyway.

I didn't bother to reply him, I just turned off my phone and I got under the sheets, quickly drifting to sleep.

When I woke up it was 9am, and I allowed myself to stay other few minutes into the bed, not really wanting to start another heavy day.

I finally decided to get up, and I went straight to the bathroom. I brushed my theet, putting on a fresh dress, and a light make up just to cover my tired face.

When I got downstairs, Alaric was making pancakes. I smiled at him.

"Hey." I just said, going to take some pancakes and a coffee.

"Hey. Goodmorning." He replied smiling too.

It wasn't awkward anymore, having Alaric at home. Honestly, Jeremy and I needed it. Even though you couldn't define Alaric a stable and perfect parental figure, he was the only one who was left, and we were very fond of him. Jenna would have wanted this too.

"Is Jeremy at work already?" I asked while chewing my pancakes.

"Yup. What about you? What are you going to do today?" He asked casually, sipping his coffee too.

"You know, same old..hitting on some guy, drinking until I pass out, having some fun." I teased, and he laughed.

I chuckled too. "I'm meeting Damon at the grill in an hour." I then said.

"Do you want me to take you?" He offered.

"So you can drink at 11am already? No thanks." I replied, giving him a smirk.

I finished my breakfast, and after talking to Alaric for a while, I then headed upstairs to take my bag and going to the grill.

When I entered it, Damon was already there, sitting into one of the booths.

I smiled at him tightly but genuinely, even if a little awkward, hoping that he would have forgot about my little snap of yesterday night.

I sat to the other side of the booth…but when I looked into his eyes, God help me. Was that really him, anymore? He had a strange expression, one that I hadn't seen him wearing since..well..since the first time he got back to Mystic Falls. It was cold, and a little smug. Not the one that I loved and hold onto to look at these past months; the one that finally let me in, that cared, that was fragile and vulnerable. His deep and intense ocean blue eyes were now so indifferent and cold. He couldn't have…

"Hi, Elena." He just said, not even with that little smirk or mischevious smile of him that I happened to love. No, this was just glacial.

"Hey." I just said back, feeling uncomfortable around this Damon.

It was a weird feeling. Having him around, but at the same time don't. It was like his body was there, but his _soul_, wasn't.

I knew him too well for his own good. He was shutting me out once again, he was turning off his emotions once again and I didn't want this. I wanted Damon back. I had seen vampires flipping the switch, Damon first when he got back to Mystic Falls and pretended not to feel or care about anyone. Then I saw Isobel, who pretty much acted like him right now the first time I saw her. Maybe I was wrong..? But what possibly could have happened for him to act like this?

"So..have you read my papers? What do you think?" I then asked, trying to ignore what was going on.

"Yes, and it's definitely Stefan." He just said calmly.

"Then we have to find him. He and Klaus move fast. We have to go now, Damon." I said anxiously. How could he be so calm about this? He was the one who tracked him for the whole summer, looking for some hints.

"I know." He said, giving me a 'duh' look. "But I am going, you are going to stay here." He then said matter of factly, rosing up from his seat.

I didn't like where this was going. He really wanted to go alone? Completely?

I rose up too, quickly gripping his jacket.

"No way Damon. I'm coming with you." I said firmly, looking into his eyes, hoping that he would take the hint.

He seemed mad for a moment, and then he shrugged off my hand, staring at me with his glacial stare.

"And for what? You would be just an obstruction. I don't have time to worry about finding Stefan and then making sure that your ass is safe." He said staring at me deeply, but coldly.

When I looked at him with betrayal and hurt, just for a fraction of second he had his mask down, looking at me like he had regretted what he said. But then his facade was quickly up again.

"I have to go now." He said, heading out of the grill and leaving me speechless and hurt. I hadn't managed a word.

I got out of my trance when Jeremy put a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, are you okay? What happened?" He asked concerned, looking around, when he saw my pale face.

"Nothing Jer." I said giving him a reassuring smile and going out of the grill.

Now I was sure. Damon had turned his emotions off. He left me. I didn't have anyone to hold onto right now and it hurt like hell.

I went to the only place I thought of. To talk to the only person who could have understood me.

I parked in front of the cemetry, and even though it was getting pretty dark, probably for another storm like yesterday, I had to let everything out. To break down a little.

I bought some flowers on my way there, and when I went in front of my parents graves I put some on each of them.

I smiled sadly, and I sat down in front of my mother's grave.

"Hey mom." I said quietly, smiling.

I used to do that. A lot. I knew some people who said that they didn't like to go to the cemetery, to remind themselves that some of their belovedes weren't with them anymore, and that they preferred to just move on.

Jeremy was one of them. Rarely he went to find mom, dad, and even Jenna. He said that it hurt too much.

It was true, it hurt, and it wasn't true at all that the pain would just go away after a few years. Yes, it gets better, that hole in your chest and that ache in your heart can get better because you get used to that, but the pain always remains.

"It didn't happen so much since I last came here. Stefan is still gone, aunt Jenna is still dead, and Jeremy and Alaric are always there for me, in their own way..you know." I said chuckling. "But I really, really have to get this off my chest. Because I've been thinking about this for quite some time now, and I don't know how to deal with this, mom. It scares me." I then said, my voice shaking, fearing of letting those words out.

"I..I think that I fell in love with Damon. But now I lost him too. Can you believe this? Vampires can do many things, and one of them is flipping the switch, turning off their emotions when they can't or don't want to handle them. They don't feel, or they pretend not to. They don't feel remorse and they're not vulnerable. Oh my god…when I saw Damon today. I wish you could have seen him.." I said, tearing up at the thought.

"He was completely off. He was cold and hard like when I met him one year ago. And he's so different than that. I didn't want to see him like that anymore, because he's so much better. You know..when he cares, he cares deeply. Damon's affection is something special. He gives it to a really few people..but when he does, you don't want to lose it. He's so caring, and fragile. He's been through so much in his life that I can relate to him. Why he's been shutting out people from his life, why he didn't want to feel again. But he let his walls down with me, and I was so honored that Damon Salvatore had let his facade fall and got his humanity back thanks to me. But now..it's like we're back to the start. You know..once he said that he can't lose me..well, I can't lose him too. I love him, mom." I finally said out loud, smiling sadly in the end, but quickly cracking up into tears and covering my mouth because I hated myself right now.

I allowed myself to fall for him. To be in love with him, when his brother, who is also my boyfriend, gave up everything and was now a ripper, together with a sociopath. I felt so guilty about it, when did I lose my way? But at the same time it felt so right. I had been deying my feelings for Damon for a long time, and now here they were, exposed. Even if they weren't really exposed, since I was talking to my dead mother.

Then I noticed a black crow on the grave and I quickly rose up, shushing him with my hand.

"Go away, bird." I said annoyed.

It wasn't the first time that I saw this bird at the cemetery, and why the hell did he always have to come on my parents' grave? When I thought that he was finally gone, he moved onto another one.

I felt like I really had to make him go away now, it really bothered me. I took my bag and spooned it around it, and he just flew around me. I knew it was crazy thinking this about a bird, but it was like he was making fun of me, like he actually found it funny. Stupid crow.

I rolled my eyes at myself, so stupid to actually catch some sort of a fight with a bird. I said goodbye to my mother and my father, and after going to Jenna's grave and putting some flowers on hers too, I got back to my car.

I had to go to the boarding house. I left some things there that I had to get back, and since Damon would be gone by now, I thought that there were no problems. No awkward moments behind the corner.

When I got there, and entered to the living room, I tried to not pay too much attention to the spot where I found Rose and Damon going at it yesterday.

Little did I know though that Rose was right there in the living room.

"Hello Elena." She said, smiling softly and a little uncomfortably at me. She probably would have asked me how I was doing, but she could see that it wasn't the case.

"Hey Rose." I said back, crossing my arms in an uncomfortable way too.

Then I saw her packing.  
>"Leaving already?" I asked, and even though I tried to, I couldn't help the sarcasm and the glee in my voice.<p>

She looked me and gave me a knowing smile. "Yes." She said. "I wanted to stay here for a while, but Damon told me to go." She shrugged, and I could see that she was a little disappointed.

"Oh..and why did you come here in the first place? I haven't seen you around for a while." I said, trying to sound more polite as possibile. I was really curious, though.

"I found out about Stefan, and I wanted to know if I could help. After all, I owe you one for having been so kind to me. And Damon and I are friends." She said casually, still packing.

I made a 'tsk' sound and looked at her like she was insane.

"_Friends_, right.." I whispered, not helping myself, and not thinking about the fact that she could hear me.

She looked at me with an amused and knowing look, and she quickly headed towards me.

I gave her a curious look, but then she spoke. "Look, Elena, you really don't have to be jealous about me and Damon." She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not jealous!"

"So stubborn.." She replied, rolling hers too.

"He loves _you_, and you know it." She said, looking at me softly and a little serious.

I finally looked at her, surprised at her honesty.

"Yeah right, then why did he turn off his emotions. Again. Or even slept with you, for that matter." I said firmly, looking at her a little annoyed.

She snorted, and she took a sit on the couch, pratically asking me to join her.

"We've slept together yesterday because we've always been 'fuck buddies'.. sorry for my crudeness." She said sincerely. "I mean come on, he's a man, he has his needs. Plus I was right there and there were no real emotional feelings involved, so.." She shrugged.

I still looked at her hardly. Feelings or not, she still had fucked him. She still had kissed him and touched him.

"And because he really thinks of not having a chance with you, you know." She said searching my eyes, and looking at me sadly.

I was about to talk, when she spoke again.

"And you know why he's turned his emotions off? Because yesterday I've pushed him too much. It's my fault. When you left, he had been torturing himself thinking about what had he done to make you snap like that. At first he thought that he might have hurt you or upset you when he vamped out and attacked you..and I didn't think that he could be so freaking dumb." She said exasperated, absorbed in her thoughts.

"So? What did you do?" I asked genuinely curious.

"I told him that you were jealous. That you were upset about us, and that I thought that you were in love with him, for quite a long time.." She said, looking away. "So he snapped at me because he knows that 'It will always be Stefan', and that I didn't have the right to push him like that and tell him lies like that. I've tried to make him reason, because I really thought – and still think – to have a point. But he wouldn't listen to me. He got mad and told me to leave." She finished, looking at me, sighing.

"Stubborn of a vampire. He's so naive about your feelings, I swear." She laughed bitterly.

I then looked at her guilty, because she spoke the truth, and I was sad that she was able to see it and Damon didn't.

"But he turned off his emotions, Rose..he's flipped the switch..what am I supposed to do?" I asked to her almost desperately.

She then looked at me firmly, taking my hands in hers, which surprised me. "Love him back. Give him your love and don't ever hurt him. He deserves love Elena, your love. Don't let him go. He loves you so much that it's not even possible. He decided to flip the switch so he could be able to think straight near you because the thought of not having you.." She said, shooking her head. "And I'm saying that because I know that you love him too, it's so crystal clear. But you have to know that I care about Damon, _deeply_, so please don't disappoint me..promise me." She warned, suddenly very vulnerable.

"Are you in love with him?" I asked softly. Just trying to get through her.

"I don't fall in love with men who love other women.." She said, giving me a tight smile.

I decided to not push her too much. Even though the thought of her being in love with Damon, and having indeed slept together annoyed me, I owe her this sincerity.

"Thank you." I said softly, squeezing her hands.

She didn't have the time to reply me when we heard a loud crash from the window. I saw fear, pure fear in her eyes, and when I looked around I see a werewolf in the middle of the room, heading towards us.

When he made to jump onto her, without even thinking, I quickly threw myself in front of her, letting the werewolf bite me on the arm.

"Elena!" She yelled.

A werewolf bite hurt like hell. Even worse of a vampire one. It literally burns, and it gets huge. I shouted in pain, and I heard her quickly getting on her knees to check on me.

I lazily looked around the room, looking for the werewolf, who had disappeared.

"Elena? Elena can you hear me?" She said shooking me, a little too hardly. I thought that werewolves bites had effects just on vampires. I heard her mumble and shouting something, but I couldn't understand, everything was getting blurry and my eyes closed.

I actually thought that I was dead. But when I woke up, I was laying on something soft, with someone stroking my hair.

I lazily opened my eyes, which were still heavy, and my head hurt like crazy. When I opened them, though, I really thought that I was in heaven. Damon's penetrating blue eyes were looking at me insently, but not like this morning, but the way I loved. There was such a vulnerability and hurt that he almost seemed a lost puppy.

"Damon?" I asked, trying to rose up even if my head was spinning like crazy.

"Elena?" He asked concered, even though I could see the relief in his eyes and in his voice.

"Am I dead?" I asked smiling softly, tying to cheer up the situation a little.

He gave me a serious look. "Not funny." He said, before pulling me into a his embrace, holding me for dear life.

"I'm sorry..I'm so sorry I wasn't here to protect you.." He mumbled into my neck, his voice on the verge of breaking.

"It's okay." I whispered, going to kiss his cheek, but ending up kissing his neck.

I smiled softly against him. From now on this would be my favorite place in the world. Tight against Damon's body, his familiar scent that I loved so much, and his muscled arms wrapped around me. It made me feel safe, home.

I pulled away to look into his eyes, studying them and almost exploding in joy when I saw _my_ Damon in there. He was back, and I would have made sure that I would have never let him go.

I stroked his soft black hair, smiling at him softly.

"How do you feel?" He then asked, checking out my face.

"Fine, I think. But it hurt like hell at the beginning." I said, remembering the pain that I felt. I hugged him again, wanting to feel that safe sensation again.

"Nothing will happen to you again. I promise, baby." He said holding me even more tigther, kissing my shoulder.

"As long as you're with me, I believe you. Where is Rose? Is she okay?" I then asked, genuinely concerned.

"Yes. She's doing some researches about the werewolves bites, you know..if they have some effects on humans too." He said.

When he saw my worried expression, he cupped my face. "Hey. Don't worry. The bite is already healing, and you feel fine, so there's nothing to worry about." He said reassuringly, kissing my forehead.

"Any idea of who could possibly be?" I asked. The only werewolf in town was Tyler, as far as I knew, and I knew for sure that during the fool moon days he would lock himself. Caroline helped him with it.

He sighed. "The only one I know is wolfboy..I have no idea, 'Lena. But we will find out."

When I saw him rosing up from the spot that he took on the bed, I quickly took his hand. "Where are you going?" I almost pouted.

He seemed happy about my behavior, but not too surprided like I thought that he would be..

He squeezed my hand. "I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm going to see if Rose has found anything." He reassured me, and I just smiled.

Just then I fully realized that I was in his bed, and I smiled smugly. I definitely felt better.

I noticed that my phone was on his nightstand, and before I could think about calling Jeremy or Alaric, it was ringing.

"Hello?" I answered.

"_Elena..?_" Stefan's voice said.

* * *

><p>AN: I know that I have other stories to work on to. But sometimes I just have ideas that I just can't get off my mind, lol. So I'm sorry if you follow my other stories and I won't update so quickly as I used to; I have part of this story already on my mind so the updates will come more often. :)

Please please _review_! They all mean a lot to me. Xoxo


	2. Chapter 2

"Stefan? Is it you?" I asked, full of concern and anxiety.

When I heard his voice, my heart skipped a beat. I obviously couldn't know for sure if he was fine, which he probably wasn't, but at least knowing that he was alive, was the most important thing. It was a start.

I just heard heavy breaths from the other line, and I rose up from the bed, nervousely pacing around the room, waiting for his answer.

I was about to speak again, but he finally talked.

_"Elena you need to stop searching for me, waiting for me to come back. Both you and Damon. I'm not coming back."_ He told me quietly, but very firmly.

At that moment I felt my knees going weak, and I sat on the edge of the bed. I still cared about him, couldn't he understand it? How could he think that me and Damon would just give up on him like this?

"We're not giving up on finding you, Stefan. You need to understand that there's people who love you here, people you can still hold onto." I said fiercely, trying to make a point.

Again there were a few seconds of silence, which could have been an eternity to me.

_"It's too late. Goodbye, Elena."_ And with that, he closed the conversation.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. Now? I didn't know what I was supposed to do. What to tell Damon. And I felt awful, I felt guilty. Stefan just said that he had pratically sacrificed everything, spending the rest of his eternity with Klaus, that he would never come back to who he was, and I was here, in love with his brother.

I knew that what I felt for Damon wasn't comparable to what I felt for Stefan, not anymore. I loved Damon and I wanted to be with him. But how could I look at myself everyday, knowing that I was with my gone boyfriend's brother, and not feel guilty? I hated my life. And I didn't want to sound like another pathetic Bella Swan, but damn it, my life wasn't worth living at all. All my family was gone. Only Jeremy was left. My – ex ? – boyfriend was a ripper who would never came back, and I couldn't be with the man I loved because it wasn't right.

I took my face in my hands and I started sobbing quietly, knowing with what I had to deal with. Then Damon decided the best moment to get into the room. He quickly kneeled in front of me, trying to take the hands away from my face.

"What happened?" I heard him asking in a concerned voice. But I didn't have the balls to look at him in the eyes.

"Go away, Damon." I just said, still buring my face into my hands, and not looking at him. I just couldn't. I couldn't stand seeing his soon hurt face.

"Talk to me Elena. Tell me what's wrong." He pushed. We had never lied to each other, and I always told him what was wrong or how I felt, but now..

I love you so much that it hurts, but we can't be together because your brother aka my boyfriend, is living hell because of us.

But instead of telling him the simple truth, I just snapped at him, because I didn't want to deal with the situation in that moment.

"I said go away, Damon!" I yelled in his face, and I could see hurt written all over his face. "JUST GO!"

I saw him stiffening, and I hated seeing him in pain. Most of all I hated being the cause of his pain. I know that it was stupid thing to say, Damon was one hell of a vampire, he was badass and everything; but I always had always been overprotective of him.

He was a great actor, he could let people believe that he didn't care or that he had no emotions, but I knew better. I had always been capable of seeing right through him..and he was so much more. He was fragile and vulnerable, and what I was doing was exactly making him show those feelings that he thought made him weak..but they only made him _human_.

He stared at me for other few seconds before rosing up and walking towards the door, closing it a little too loudly.

I knew that we still had to talk. About lots things. I had to tell him about Stefan's call, what to do about him..but now it just wasn't the case.

Congrats, Elena. You just did the opposite of what Rose told you before, I thought.

I felt my throat cracking again, ready for another sea of tears. But I wanted to be strong. So I took a deep breath, I calmed myself down, and I dialed Jeremy's number.

_"Elena? Where are you?"_ He immediatly asnwered.

"I'm at the boarding house. I'm fine. Something happened and..time just passed by. I'm sorry I didn't call, anyway I'm too tired to drive home. I'm just going to spend the night here. Okay?" I said quickly, not really in the mood for talking.

He seemed unsure for a moment. _"Alright. Tomorrow I don't have to work so I'm going to pick you up at the boarding house, okay?_" He offered.

"Okay Jer. Goodnight." I said, hanging up.

Spending the night at the boarding house after snapping at Damon like that was kinda inappropriate, but whatever, I thought. I was really too tired to even put a foot out of the house.

Sure as hell I wouldn't have slept in Damon's room. I loved it, though. It was so very Damon-ish. I smiled sadly remembering the chaste kiss that we shared in that bed. I wished that the next time it could have been mutual and a _little_ more passionate..but I knew that it wouldn't have happened.

I quickly headed towards the door, opening it, just to find Rose out of it.

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed, putting a hand on my racing heart. She scared the hell out of me.

"Sorry." She said sincerely. "How are you feeling?" She then asked, guilt written all over her face.

She probably felt bad because I took the bite for her. But I was kind of proud about it, though. It would have killed her, while on me apparently it didn't have any effects.

"I'm fine. Thank you for asking." I replied, smiling.

She seemed hesitant for a second, before pulling me into an unexpected hug.

"Thank you." She murmured. "By the way I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to worry, werewolves bites don't have any particular effects on humans..well, beside being always a bite. Of a wolf." She said chuckling.

I immediatly felt relieved. I thought so the moment I woke up and I felt fine, but you could never know. I was prepared for everything to be honest.

"Anyway, I also wanted to tell you goodbye. I'm going. But remember what I said..don't fear your feelings, okay? Take care of him, please." She said, and she looked at me with that vulnerability again talking about Damon. I was now pretty sure that she was indeed in love with him. Why couldn't he be in love with her, too? We couldn't be together, and I just wished that he was happy, at that point I didn't care if it was Rose or anyone else the one who made him happy.

But I just nodded, smiling tightly at her. "I promise. Goodbye, Rose." I said, giving her one last hug.

I then quickly headed downstairs, but Damon was probably out, since I couldn't find him. I was anywhere near tired, or I was, but I knew that I couldn't sleep.

So I called the one person who could have been there in a very short time, and I knew that was always there for me no matter what.

_"Hello hello?"_ Caroline sing-songed on the phone.

I rolled my eyes smiling. I was amused at how she could always be so calm and happy. I really needed a person like her in my life.

"Care. It's me! Lena." I said.

_"Elenaaaa! How are you?"_ She exclaimed.

We didn't hang out so often anymore, she always seemed so busy with Tyler, even though she reassured that they were just friends, and with me dealing with the Stefan thing we barely saw each other.

"I'm not gonna lie, I'm not fine at all. But it's not just about Stefan..look, I really need to talk to someone right now. Can you come over at the boarding house?" I asked, hoping for a yes. I really needed my dose of Care-bear.

_"Sure thing. I'll see you in a bit."_ She replied.

While waiting for Caroline, I layed on the couch, catching up some TV. Most of the programs were annoying or boring, and since I really couldn't think about anything but Damon at the moment, I was completely absorbed in my thoughts.

I felt a presence near my neck and I almost jumped, before I heard Caroline's voice. "Boo!" She whispered.

"What the – Caroline!" I exclaimed, excited.

I got off the couch and immediatly hugged her tightly.

"Aww, I've missed you, Lena. We're not seeing each other so often anymore." She said sadly.

"I know, I know..we're both pretty messed up. We have to catch up, though." I said chuckling.

I saw her going where Damon kept all his 'precious' stuff, and coming back with a bottle of bourbon.

"You know that Damon is going to kill you for this, right?" I asked frowning. She was underestimating Damon's love for his bourbon.

"Whatever." She said, rolling her eyes. "Here.." She then said, heading me a filled glass.

I was hesitant, but I eventually took it. We both needed it.

"Cheers." I said, rosing up the glass, as she did the same.

"So..what's going on in that mind of yours, Elena?" She asked while sipping her bourbon.

I took a deep breath, taking time to finally spat out the truth aloud, and not just in front of my mother's grave.

"I'm in love with Damon." I said, then drinking half of my glass.

Caroline almost chocked on her drink, and looked at me with widened eyes.

"OMG." She hissed, and I chuckled.

"How much did I miss? Damn it, all of this just to hang out with Tyler and play BFF's with him. Sorry, whatever..keep going." She quickly said, but I could see the annoyed look on her face.

I was pretty sure that Caroline really liked Tyler, but maybe she didn't want to admit it to herself yet, or she simply felt guilty because he was Matt's best friend. And I could understand her more than anyone else.

"Well, I felt that things between us had changed, especially how I felt towards him. But..the other day I caught him with Rose, and there I realized that I really am In love with him. I love him, Care." I said, smiling a little uncomfortably.

She seemed shocked at my confession, but on the other hand it just seemed that she was waiting for it.

"I knew it. I freaking knew it! You were always eye-sexing each other. Not to mention that he adores you, Elena. And you're always staring at his lips." She told me with a smirk.

I suddenly blushed. Was that so evident?

"I can't do this to Stefan, Caroline. He's still my boyfriend, he's Damon's brother. I may not love him that way anymore, but I still care about him, and it just doesn't feel right. He's out there with that psycopath of Klaus, and all I can do is screwing around with his brother? I would be such a bitch..I feel so guilty for having fallen for Damon." I said serious, shooking my head.

Seeing my discomfort, Caroline gently placed her glass on the table, getting closer.

"Aww, sweetie, come here." She said softly, hugging me.

"I don't know what to do Care. I feel so bad. I snapped at him before, and I had no reasons to do it." I said as I hugged her back.

She smoothly caressed my hair, rubbing my back.

"You know what I think? That for once in your life, you can afford to be selfish, if being selfish means being happy. I'm sorry to say this but..you don't even know if Stefan is ever going to come back, and things between the two of you would have ended anyway, right? You _can't_ wait forever. I mean it's not like that if he magically appears tomorrow, your feelings for Damon will disappear. They would still be here and you would suffer even worse. Don't be scared, give it a chance. If he makes you happy, go for it..you deserve it more than anyone else, Elena." She said sincerely, looking into my eyes and smiling.

I returned her smile tightly, thinking about what she said. Caroline was right. Things with Stefan were over anyway. We were two different persons now, and my feelings for Damon would still be here, even if he ever came back. Plus, it's not like we had to stop searching for him. I wouldn't gave up on Stefan, and I knew that Damon wouldn't either.

"Thank you Caroline. You're such a good friend." I said, hugging her tighter.

"Whenever you want." She reassured. "Anyway..where's Damon? It's pretty late." She said, and it only reminded me that she was right. Where the hell was him? I immediatly felt worried and anxious.

"I sort of yelled at him before, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't want to see me. He's probably at Andie Slut's place." I said with clentched teeth, all of a sudden mad at the only thought.

I mean she was still his 'girlfriend' after all. He could do whatever he wanted to…or hell no. I quickly rose up, taking my phone.

Caroline chuckled. "Someone's jealous.." She sing-songed.

"Shut up Caroline!" I said to her.

"Andie Slut as in Andie Starr, the reporter? I saw her a few times on TV, and once or twice at the grill. She has such an attitude. She seems pretty full of herself..no wonder why Damon chose her as personal sex-toy." Caroline blabed, rolling her eyes.

Just when she noticed my killer stare she stopped.

"He's not answering." I snorted.

"Don't worry. He's fine. Maybe he's just getting drunk? Heck, he's Damon." She shrugged.

Was he fine? I didn't know. And until I didn't know for sure I knew that I would have been anxious for the whole time.

"Do you want to go to bed? I can stay with you, if you want." Caroline said, when she saw me yawning.

I was indeed pretty tired.

"I think I'm going. But you don't have to stay, don't worry." I reassured her, before pulling her into another hug.

"Thank you, for everything. If you need me, I'm here, too." I said.

"Anytime Lena." She said winking at me, and quickly disappearing.

It was almost 2am and Damon wasn't here. Great. I just assumed that he would have spent the night somewhere else…

Taking lazy steps, I headed upstairs, and I decided that I would have slept in Damon's bedroom. I would have woken up before he came back anyway.

I didn't know why, but I smiled smugly once in Damon's room. I loved his bedroom, is was much more bigger and classy than Stefan's.

I probably wasn't allowed to sleep in his bed, since I was not his girlfriend and he was probably pissed off after I snapped at him like that..but who cares, I thought.

I opened his closet and I took one of his usual black t-shirts, inhaling its scent. It was Damon all over. I went to the bathroom, and after undressing and putting the t-shirt on, I quickly got under the covers.

At some point though, with my face buried in the pillow, I noticed that it wasn't Damon's scent. It didn't smell like Damon. I suddenly saw red when I realized that it was Andie's annoying perfume. I growled, before throwing the pillow in the opposite side of the room, then taking Damon's one. I recognized his scent and I insitintively smiled. One thing I knew though: I was so over Andie and her precious reporter vagina.

It took me a while before drifting to sleep, especially for the thunderstorm that was coming. They usually scared the hell out of me.

I woke up in the middle of the night, and glancing at the clock it said 4am. It was probably the storm that woke me up, since the thunders were very loud.

Just then I noticed strong arms wrapped around me, and when even in the dark I recognized Damon's ring and possessive arms, I grinned contently. He was back. I wasn't dreaming..and was he holding me? Did that mean that he wasn't mad at me?

I turned on my back quietly, trying not to wake him. I smiled softly at how beautiful and innocent he looked when he was sleeping. Sure he was always handsome, physically perfect and good looking. But while he slept like that I could actually see how beautiful he was.

He wasn't under the covers or undressed, which told me that he wasn't here for a very long time. I started caressing his raven hair, and then eventually stroking his cheek. I bit my lip thinking about what I wanted to do..I quickly leaned over him, ready to lightly kiss his lips.

I immediatly retracted when I saw his blue eyes opening. I blushed, and I thanked God that it was dark. I should have expected that.

"Hitting on a _sleeping _vampire?" He said with that smirk of his.

I smiled, rolling my eyes. "Not at all." I said, playfully slapping his arm.

Then worry and curiosity took over me, and I returned serious.

"Where have you been?" I asked him seriously, unconsciously still stroking his hair.

"Around...and no, I didn't kill anyone." He then added rolling his eyes, seeing my suspicious expression. "But," he pointed out, "I needed blood bags. So I went to the blood bank." He shrugged. "And yeah, it took me forever because now almost everyone in this town is under vervain." He said a little annoyed.

I was glad that he was okay, but it was true that it was indeed becoming a problem taking blood bags. For Caroline was the same, but after her mother knew the truth about her, she was taking the blood bags for her. Since Liz knew that vampires were still in town and existed, she gave everyone vervain to protect them.

I then saw Damon with an amused and confused expression.

"Why is my pillow on the ground, and near the bathroom?" He asked, rosing one eyebrow.

What was I supposed to tell him? I opted for the truth, since we were pratically cuddling right now, it's not like I had to hide something.

"Because it stank. Of Andie Sl..ar." I said a little sarcastic, rosing one eyebrow too.

He started chuckling, and when he wouldn't stop, I immediatly felt embarassed. My cheeks went red and I smacked him on the head.

"What!" I spat, a bit irritated.

He wasn't chuckling anymore. He quickly rolled me over so my chest was on top of his. He tucked some of my hair behind my ear, looking at me intensly.

"Nothing. You're just awfully cute." He said, giving me a kiss on the cheek. When my numb smile became an instense look as his, he kissed my other cheek, then the other again, my chin..I was overhelmed by this sensation. I closed my eyes, lost in his soft lips kissing my face. I think that I actually moaned once. But when he headed to my lips, I quickly but gently placed a finger on his lips.

He gave me a confused look but I reassured him with a smile.

"Sorry for earlier, when I yelled at you. I had no rights and I hurt you without a reason. I'm so sorry, Damon." I said with my voice and my face full of emotion.

He gave me one of the warmest smiles and then he cupped my face.

"You don't have to apologize, Elena. It happens. You had a rough day and you just snapped..who doesn't? You know that I'm always here for you if you want to talk, but you just didn't want to. It's all good." He reassured me, kissing my forehead as I relaxed in his embrace.

"So you're not mad at me?" I asked, playing my doe eyes face on him.

He chuckled softly. "Never, love." He said as he finally kissed me on the lips. I melted at how he called me.

He seemed hesitant for a second, but when he felt me returning the kiss with even more passion, he deepened it. The kiss was sweet and slow at the beginning, finally tasting and knowing each other. It quickly became more urgent, our tounges battling for dominance. Then I could really confirm that Damon Salvatore was one hell of a kisser, when he wasn't laying half dead in a bed.

He rolled us over so he was on top of me now, and I clung onto his body, wrapping my arms around his muscled chest. I moaned in satisfaction when my hands ran through his perfect chest and then to his abdominal. Well hello, Adonis.

He suddenly stopped and I pouted, trying to take his head down to mine again.

"You're burning up." He stated, a little breathless.

"You can say that." I nodded in approvement, trying to kiss him once again.

I literally snorted when he pulled away.

He rolled his eyes. "Not what I meant." He said. "You're burning up because you probably have some fever, Elena."

I felt indeed a little hot, and beside _that_ kind of hot, I realized that I actually felt pretty bad. Just when things with Damon were getting hot!

He twisted his lips together amused when he saw my pouty reaction.

"Come here." He gestured, and I quickly accomplished, sneaking into his arms and rubbing my head into his neck, as I entwined our legs.

He looked down at me and smiled, but I could see that it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Before I wake up and I find out that it was just a dream…where do we stand, Elena? I mean where do _you_ want with us to stand?" He said, asking me with his eyes to be sincere.

I already knew what I want. For how selfish it could sound, I wanted him, and I didn't care. If I could finally be happy in this darn life of mine, I wouldn't have let the occasion go.

"I want what _you_ want." I said, kissing his chest, as he pulled me tighter.

I smiled satisfied, closing my eyes.

"Oh you know, yesterday something weird happened." I then said, when I understood that I was not going to fall asleep.

"What?" He asked.

"I went at the cemetery, you know, visiting my parents and Jenna...and while I was talking to my mother, a stupid crow was there. I'm telling you, Damon. An arrogant and stubborn bird. Call me crazy if I'm actually thinking this about a bird..but it was like it was teasing me, and it's not the first time that I saw it there." I said shooking my head, annoyed.

When I didn't hear him answer, I looked up at him, just to find him with an amusing smirk on his face.

I gave him a questioning look, and he shrugged casually. "It was just a bird." He said, but I could still see the amusement on his face, and I narrowed my eyes.

"Sleep now." He then said, kissing the top of my head.

I remained silent for a few moments, before speaking again.

"Oh and by the way, tomorrow I'm washing your pillow. And all your shirts and t-shirts. In case Andie," I pointed out, mocking her name sarcastically, "used all of them, jackass." I said, punching his chest.

I saw him rolling his eyes with an amused look and muttering something like 'she's so damn jealous'. Yes, I was, but I would never give him the satisfaction to actually say it out loud.

"Actually, Andie was the one who thought she could wear my shirts. I sure as hell didn't ask her. Plus let's not talk about her..you can be so stubborn and annoying, Elena." He said with a roll of eyes. "And well then you're going to give me the t-shirt that you're wearing now, since I can't just go around half naked, now can I?" He teased me, which caused him to get another kick, now on the leg.

"Ouch woman, you're aggressive." He faked pain. "Will you ever tell me something sweet? Or am I going to be miserable for the rest of my eternity, knowing that you didn't have a nice word for me?" He said, doing the eye-thing that I secretly loved.

I know that he was joking, but he actually deserved all the sweetest words in this world, even if I didn't want to admit it to him.

I leaned closer to his face, kissing his cheek. "Okay.. I love this hair a little longer. You're even sexier. Here's your sweetness." I said, winking.

I knew that it would have probably filled his already full ego, but I couldn't help it, I loved him with this hair. I could only imagine during sex..

After talking for a while, which helped me to fall asleep because I couldn't do it with the loud thunders, I finally drifted to sleep in his arms.

* * *

><p>I woke up at 9am with an unbereable headache, my head was actually throbbing and my forehead was on fire. I immediatly noticed that Damon wasn't beside me, and that his part of the bed was made.<p>

I looked on the nightstand and found a glass of water with an aspirin, and a packet of crackers near it. I frowned, before finding a post-it.

_"Eat the crackers before taking the aspirin. I didn't want to wake you, you seemed so peaceful. I'm downstairs. ;)" _there was written. I smiled at how caring he was.

I quickly ate the crackers, took the aspirin, and went to the bathroom. I washed my face and brushed my theet, and after I was at least decent even though I still had a tired face, I headed downstairs, with a tiny comforter wrapped around me.

I heard more voices, and looking from the stairs I noticed that all our 'gang' was there. Bonnie and Jeremy were sitting on a couch together, Damon on the arm of the opposite couch, and Alaric was near him.

I didn't feel well at all, I felt giddy and tired, but I wanted to know what was going on. Not caring that I was only wearing Damon's t-shirt and my pajama shorts, I headed towards them, who all smiled when they saw me.

Damon's smile, though, was the one that hit me the most. It was so genuinely loving that I just wanted to hug him and tell him how much I loved him. Bonnie was the first one who eyed me strangely, but she seemed confused as everyone.

I went near Damon, and I wrapped my arms around his waist. He did the same, quickly asking me how I felt, and I just nodded okay even if I was shivering.

The reactions on their faces were priceless, and obviously unexpected, but I didn't care at all. Sooner or later I had to tell them anyway.

Bonnie from confused passed to pissed off, Jeremy seemed both surprised and annoyed, and Alaric looked at us like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I felt a little uncomfortable with all their eyes on me, but I didn't care. I rested my head on Damon's shoulder, who grabbed me and put me on his lap.

"What's happening?" I asked, since it seemed super odd having Alaric, Damon, Bonnie and Jeremy all reunited on a Sunday morning. Duh.

Damon was about to speak, but Bonnie cut him off, and he gave her a sarcastic smile, clearly annoyed, which she gladly returned.

"It's Caroline, we can't find her. Her mother is very worried and Tyler didn't see her too." She told me a bit coldly, but I could still feel the concern in her voice.

"Oh my God. But that's impossibile..I mean, I saw her just last night. She came over here and it was late. Oh no, it's all my fault..I shouldn't have let her leave.." I said anxiously, running a hand through my hair. I actually felt guilty. I should have told her to stay. Yes, she was a vampire and she could protect herself, but still.

Damon cupped my face and looked at me with his deep blue ocean eyes which always had the power to calm me down.

"Hey..it's not your fault. You couldn't predict that she would have been in danger. We're going to find her, I promise." He whispered, smoothly rubbing my back.

Jeremy seemed suddenly uncomfortable, looking around the room as if someone was there. Alaric and I exchanged looks, we were used to his weird behavior. Damon looked at me strangely, but I shushed him with a glance.

"I, uhm, I gotta go. See you guys later. Let me know if you know something about Caroline..and Ric when you need help with the weapons call me." He said, quickly kissing Bonnie on the cheek and almost running out.

"What is wrong with him?" Damon asked, as if he was talking about a mentally ill. I gave him a hard look and he just shrugged.

"Look clearly something is wrong with him. He's been looking around the room the whole time, it was so freaking annoying. Plus sometimes he whispered to himself…it's creepy." He told me, eye-ing me knowingly, while sipping his bourbon. His bourbon of 9am. It was already distusting, but did he have to do it in front ot Alaric the alcoholic? I quickly took his bourbon, placing it on the glass table. He seemed annoyed and I smiled smugly.

"It's creepy…says the vampire." I said shooking my head.

Bonnie was clearly disgusted at these new kind of interactions between us, so she quickly cut us off.

"For once I have to agree with Damon. He's been acting weirdly for months now. Even when he thinks that I'm asleep, he whispers things like 'you have to go' or 'what are you doing here?'. I don't get it." She said helplessy and concerned.

When we were about to talk about the argument, there was a loud knock at the door. Lots of loud knocks at the door.

"What the hell.." Damon spat frustrated, going at the door with his vampire speed.

When he opened it, though, we were all shocked at what we were seeing.

A bleeding Caroline full of injuries in all her body, now surrected by Damon's strong arms. I hated seeing Caroline in pain. Hell, she was the last one who deserved this. I wondered what else could have happened now.

* * *

><p>AN: Thank you SO much guys for all the reviews, alerts and favorites! They all mean a lot to me. :) Next chappie Elena's birthday.. ;)

Please review and let me know what you think! Xoxo


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hey guys! :) Thank you so much for all your alerts, favorites and reviews. I really appreciate them, keep them coming! **

**And PLEASE review. It only takes you one minute and they really mean a lot. :) Xoxo**

PS: Still not Elena's birthday in here..sorry ;(

* * *

><p>I felt tears growing in my eyes at Caroline's sight. She did not deserve this, and I couldn't actually think about a person who <em>would<em> physically harm her. She was Caroline, she couldn't hurt a puppy even if she wanted to, who would do this to her?

She wasn't the type to put herself in risky or dangerous situations, the only times that it actually happened, it was because of me. And I hoped with all my heart that this wasn't about me too, since all the people I knew and care about either got killed or hurt because of my fucking doppelganger state.

She was almost passed out, the only thing that kept her still was Damon's strong body keeping her.

"Caroline!" I exclaimed, running to her, followed by Bonnie.

When we got to her side taking Damon's place, he quickly disappeared, returning only a few seconds later with three blood bags.

Unconscious tears were streaming down my cheeks, and I quickly wiped them away as we put Caroline on the couch. Damon kneeled in front of her, examining her cautionally.

"Fuck." He muttered as he still checked her out.

"What?" I asked concerned glancing at Caroline, anxiety taking the best of me.

"She's been stabbed with vervain, and these other bruises.." Damon said, as he took one of her arms in his hand. "Are burns. Which means that she's been exposed to the sun." He said quietly, understanding the pain she had been through.

"Oh my God.." I heard Bonnie whispering, still in shock.

It was indeed awful to watch, it was like she had been tortured.

I then put the tube of the blood bag into her mouth so she could drink. She didn't react at first, which scared me..but then she slowly and weakly started to sip, and I felt relieved, a slight smile appearing on my face.

"She doesn't have the ring." Bonnie spat, looking at Caroline intensly. "Her ring, her protection." She clarified with wide eyes.

I followed her eyes on Caroline's body, and it was true. She didn't have protections. Then how the hell..?

"Then how did she get here? Vampires burn in the sun." As I said it, my eyes instinctively fell on Damon, looking for his ring for some sort of reassureance. Knowing that without that ring he could..he would..I couldn't think about that.

I heard him sighing. "She probably run, using the strenght that she had left. But the place where she has escaped can't be too far." He stated, suddenly pensive.

When I gave the third blood bag to Caroline, I noticed that her bruises were getting better, and that she seemed less pale.

"Elena?" She whispered.

"Care, I'm here sweetie..I'm here.." I said as I took her hand in mine, squeezing it. She gave me a weak smile.

Bonnie was by our side in a second, holding Caroline too.

I didn't see Damon anymore, who was probably taking other blood bags, followed by Ric.

"What happened?" I asked, trying to cover the cry in my voice.

"He hates me." She said bursting into tears.

"Who?" Bonnie and I asked pratically at the same time, confused.

"My dad hates me!" She almost yelled, now sobbing.

She took her face into her hands, resting her elbows on her knees while sobbing quietly. We didn't push her, unsure of what to do.

"He knows about vampires. He always knew. I was so happy to see him…he came at my house, telling me that he missed me and that he wanted to go out, to talk. I obviously agreed. But once I was in his car he stabbed me with vervain, and he was taking me into a place…strange…like the one where Tyler goes when there's the full moon. When he got out of the car, I took the opportunity and I ran." She finished, still sobbing quietly.

I held her in my arms, soothing her.

"I'm so sorry Caroline.." I just said, trying to calm her down. "What about the ring?" I then asked.

"He probably knew that it was it that protected me..and still, he took it off. Even knowing that it would have killed me." She said without any emotion in her voice.

I held her for other few minutes, before getting up.

"I'm going to take you a change, okay?" I said. I had some left clothes there and she desperately needed them right now.

I quickly got upstairs, to Damon's room.

When I got in I found him there, pacing around the room searching for something.

"Hey.." I said softly, "what are you doing?"

"I'm searching for a ring, a necklace, or even a fucking bracelet.." He said distracted, still with the eyes searching in the drawers.

I quickly headed towards him, lightly putting my hand on his shoulder. That simple touch gave me chills.

"For Caroline?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah.." He sighed, a little frustrated.

This meant so much to me. Damon obviously knew how much I loved Caroline, he didn't want to see me or her for that matter suffering, and he was doing everything to make it up for me.

I gently cupped his cheeks, and placed the softest kiss on his lips. He was the better man. He was one hell of a man, for me.

"Thank you." I whispered, kissing his cheek. "But it's not necessary." I then said.

He looked at me confused, and I smiled.

"I'll give her this. At least until she finds something better to wear." I said chuckling, while unclasping my necklace.

His expression darkened. "No." He said serious, his icy glare penetrating me. "You need this, Elena."

Yes, but it was Stefan's necklace, and I didn't need it anymore. It just didn't feel right.

"No, I don't. Not anymore." I said with a tone as serious as his, looking firmly into his eyes hoping that he would take my hint. It wasn't just the necklace that I didn't need anymore..

"I'll find something better to put on, too." I reassured him, crossing my arms across my chest.

He obviously didn't take my hint. Stubborn vampire.

"No." He stated almost as a threat, standing way too close to me.

"Yes." I replied trying to sound serious as him, but I just looked amusing, compared to him.

"I said no, Elena. Anyone could compel you without that damn thing on!" He said rising his voice a little.

"I can use something else, okay? Right now Caroline needs it more than me. End of discussion." I said deadly serious.

I saw his eyes widening a little, he probably was still mad.

"Fine. Whatever." He said and headed out of the room.

I sighed. Great.

I took one of my dresses, then headed downstairs again.

Caroline seemed a little more relaxed from the time I got back, chuckling with Bonnie and Alaric.

I sat near her again, smiling lightly. "Here." I said giving her my dress. "You can take a shower in one of the guests rooms if you want." I pointed out.

"Thank you Lena." She said hugging me. "And then I need some, you know, details.." She then whispered giggling. She was incorregible.

"Fine, Barbie. But later." I replied, rolling my eyes.

When Caroline was in the other room, I quickly turned to Bonnie.

"I need you to do something for me." I said, giving her my necklace.

She eyed me suspisciously. "What, exactly?"

"I need you to do your witchy magic on my necklace. Put the spell to protect if from the sun." I said.

Her jaw dropped open and her eyes widened. I rolled my eyes. Clearly, she got it wrong. But it was nice to see that my best friend would have reacted like that, if I eventually told her that I wanted to be a vampire. So nice.

"Elena…" She said, almost incredulously.

"It's not what you think, Bonnie. I need you to do it for Caroline. I want her to have it..now that her ring is MIA." I said, looking at her serious, to make my point.

She seemed hesitant. "Okay..I'll do it." She said, taking the necklace.

Just when she started, I saw Damon entering, and putting his leather jacket on.

"Where are you going?" I asked him, surprised.

"I have to meet Andie. She may have some news on Stefan." He said simply, as it was the most normal thing in the world, heading towards the door. _Clearly _for him meeting an ex or whatever the hell she was wasn't much of a big deal as it was for me!

"Wait!" I almost jumped off the couch. "I'm coming with you." I affirmed with a nod.

Hell no. If he thought that he could go to that annoying slut all alone he got it all wrong. I saw the way she looked at me when she was with Damon, that defiant look, as in saying 'ha ha bitch, he's mine'. Well now things had to change, and I would slam in her face with who Damon belonged with. I swear that girl was so brainless..I had never understood how Jenna could be her friend, or how she could have been Damon's girlfriend or whatever! Ugh!

I went near him, playing my doe eyes on him.

"I'm coming with you." I affirmed again.

He looked at me softly, and then concerned. He started caressing my hair, smoothly. I swear it was the best feeling ever.

"No Elena. You've still got some fever, I don't want you to get sick."

"But please? I feel better now, I swear." I pouted, taking one of his hands in mine.

He looked at me again. "Fine, you pain in the ass." He said annoyed, rolling his eyes, but with that smug smirk on his face.

"Give me one sec!" I said, running upstairs.

I quickly put my clothes back on, a little sorry to take off Damon's shirt. I brushed my hair, but sadly I had to stay with that miserable face because I had no make-up in there.

While I was heading downstairs, I bumped into Caroline.

"Hey." She grinned at me. I saw that her old self coming back.

"Hey Care. How are you feeling? Look I have to go out with Damon now, but you stay here, okay? It's dangerous for you to go out right now. And we need to talk..you know.." I winked at her.

She almost squealed. "Okay! Hurry up though, I can't wait to hear what happened." She clapped her hands. As I was heading down the stairs though, she lightly grabbed my arm. "Lena..thank you for what you're doing to me. Especially you know, the necklace thing..I promise you'll get it back as soon as possible." She reassured me with a nod. I nodded too, smiling at her.

"Ric, keep an eye on Judgey and Barbie, alright?" I heard Damon asking.

"No problem man." Alaric replied. Well at least he had something else to do instead of drinking. And sleeping. And drinking.

I reached Damon, and I faked my best smile. He didn't buy it though..sometimes I hated that he knew me too well.

"Elena, please..I know that you just can't wait to see Andie, but try to be a little less evident about your love for her." He said with his sarcastic dramatic tone.

I rolled my eyes elbowing him, suppressing a chuckle.

Once we were out of the door, he spoon me around, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"What's up?" I said, popping the 'p'.

He smiled at me genuinely. "Nothing..you're just..I am the happiest dead living person right now." He said kissing my forehead, and I grinned, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Promise me that you're going to wear something, though. You know how important that is Elena." He said serious.

"You know I will. If you want me to, I will even a necklace with a skull." I said and he laughed. I loved when he laughed.

_I loved him._

He kissed me softly on the lips, then deepening the kiss, our tongues teasing and tasting. God, just kissing him was something too sexual to handle. And the way he nibbled at your bottom lip..I was sure that Damon was a tiger in bed, and the thought actually scared me a bit.

That man had sure slept with half planet, while I only had Matt, but sex between us seemed sex between two dummies, and then Stefan who was pretty boring and repetitive. Great. I felt uncomfortable around Damon from that point of view, I sure was.

He broke the kiss, and taking my hand he guided us towards his car.

The way towards the Action News building was calm and quiet. Comfortable quiet.

When we arrived, I thought that it was probably a bad idea going with him. I wasn't ready to face more truth, to face what Stefan could have possibly done, again..

I stiffened, and Damon noticed my reaction.

He didn't say a word, he just hugged me close to his body, and I inhaled his calming and familiar scent.

"It's gonna be okay." He whispered, rubbing my back.

I just nodded against his chest. He entwined my hand with his as we walked inside.

The build was obviously huge, since it was the only Mystic Falls reporter center. It was an unfamiliar place to me, in the first few floors there were a lot of people sitting at their computers, but once we took the elevator and Damon pressed the fifth floor button I realized that we were going to the upper floors, probably with 'important' people.

So she was that famous, uh?

"You're very familiar with the place." I commented, trying to not sound annoyed.

He shrugged casually. "Been here a couple of times."

I made a face, and he obviously noticed that, since he shook his head smirking smugly.

"I love when you're jealous. You're so cute." He whispered in my hear amused. Before I could reply though, we were at the floor, so I just shot him a dead glance.

As we arrived at the floor, I followed him until we got at Andie's office.

As he knocked at the door and we entered, Andie's face lightened up..until she saw me. She gave me a no-I'm-not-trying-to-hide-that-I-can't-stand-you smile.

"Hey D.." She said, smiling.

_D_? Really, D?

"Elena." She then said, checking me out from tip to toe.

I immediatly felt uncomfortable. I was a mess. I hadn't make-up on, I hadn't slept at all, and I was sick, while she was on her heels and impeccable make-up and outfit. She wasn't a genuine beautiful woman..she was more attractive, if anything. Thanks to her sluttiness.

"Hello Andie." Damon said with his usual charm. "So..you told me that you had something for me."

"Oh, Damon..I have plenty of things for you." She said mischeviousely.

I raised my eyebrows in a 'really guys, really?' manner. That was too much, I was going to wait outside, otherwise I would have punched her in the face.

"I think I'm going to wait outside." I said, trying not to roll my eyes.

I saw Damon turning around to say something, but I was already out.

I sat in one of the chairs out of her office, until something caught my attention. There was a woman, probably one of Andie's colleagues, surrounded by other women squealing at the baby that she had in her arms.

The baby was probably very little, six or seven months at last. I grinned as I headed towards them. It always took the best of me..when I saw a little kid, or even a puppy, I just had to go and cuddle them.

Just then I recognized the woman. She was Danielle, one of Jenna's friends.

"Danielle!" I said smiling, approaching her.

She noticed me and a huge grin appeared on her face.

"Elena, honey!" She said surprised, heading towards me.

She pulled me into a light embrace since she still had the baby in her arms.

"Oh my god, she's so beautiful. Congrats Danielle." I said as I smiled widely at the baby, taking one of her little hands in mine.

"Thank you Elena. It's a while that I'm not seeing you around, since…" She said, but she stopped, in loss of words. While the funeral had been very private, on the papers it still came out the news of Jenna's death. The case was 'unresolved' for everyone.

She smiled at me apologetically, and I returned it.

"So.." I quickly switched the conversation, "how old is she? What's her name?" I asked curious. This baby had such a cute face.

She looked at her daughter, clearly in love. "Janet's six months old, almost seven." She said as she cuddled her in her arms.

"It's three weeks that I have to bring her at work with me..you know, Darren works too, and my mother doesn't feel really well lately. But she's not whimsy and the boss that it's okay, so I'm actually glad that I have to spend more time with her." She said.

"May I..?" I asked hesitantly, craving to hold that baby girl in my arms.

"Of course!" Danielle replied happily, carefully passing me Janet.

"Hey Janet, how are you baby girl? You're such a cutie." I said as I held her in my arms.

Just then Damon headed out of Andie's office. He had a serious expression, probably thinking about the latest news.

He gave me a soft smile, heading towards me. But he looked a little...hurt, or upset?

Danielle saw him heading out of Andie's office too. "Are you Damon? Andie talks a lot about you by the way. I'm Danielle." She said smiling, shooking his hand.

He returned her smile politely. "Damon Salvatore..nice to meet you. And I'm actually here with Elena." He pointed out.

"Oh, right, I forgot about that...what are you doing here Elena anyway?" She asked a little confused.

I suddenly felt uncomfortable at the question. Indeed, you just don't come here, if you don't have a work or something.

"She came with me, I had to talk with Andie about some things and I took Elena with me." He said casually, shrugging.

I smiled softly, nodding. "Yup."

"Oh.." She just said, clearly confused. As far as she knew, I was just her friends's niece, and Damon was her colleague boyfriend. She was probably thinking 'what the hell'?

I quickly smiled at Janet again before heading her to Danielle, and she smiled up at me too.

"Aww! She smiled at me." I said chuckling.

She chuckled too. "You seem so good with her. I bet that you're going to be a very good mom." She stated.

Uh oh. She just touched a touchy subject. Especially in front of my vampire. It had always been a touchy subject with Stefan, and with Damon now, it was even more.

I saw him looking away, clearly trying to mask whatever feeling was going through his mind in that moment. I looked up at him and my heart squeezed in pain.

He gulped nervousely, and I took his hand in mine, squeezing it tightly. It was when he had this vulnerable look on his face that I reminded my self why I loved him so much. Each time.

"It was so good to see you, Danielle. And congrats for your beautiful baby girl again." I said smiling.

We said our goodbyes, and then we headed towards the exit. I decided to ignore what just happened there.

"So, something new?" I asked once in the car, breaking the silence.

"Nope." Damon sighed, popping the 'p'. "Nothing special. He's still ripping here and there." He shrugged.

A cold shiver passed through my spine..the Stefan that we knew and love was gone. I probably had to tell him about the call, but in that moment I didn't want to.

The whole drive home was very quiet. I could feel that he was tense, but I didn't want to push him, it was probably about Stefan.

* * *

><p>"Caroline?" I called once in the house.<p>

"In here!" She yelled from the living room. She was on the couch chewing some chips, talking with Alaric, who of course was drinking...

"You may want to take whiskey or a beer..bourbon is out of service." Damon said sarcastically, taking the bottle from his hand and pouring himself a glass.  
>"Selfish ass.." Alaric muttered, already half high.<p>

"Go home buddy." Damon said annoyed, patting his shoulder.

He mumbled something that I didn't catch and headed outisde.

Caroline kept throwing glances at me, then eventually glancing at Damon as to making me understand that she wanted to have _that_ talk.

Damon was absorbed in his thoughts, absently sipping his bourbon while watching out of the window. I sighed.

"Let's go upstairs." I told Caroline.

She followed me as we entered in the room that she used earlier. She closed the door behind us looking at me knowingly.

"Are you sure that you're okay? You know with all that happened…" I said symphatetically. I was sure that she felt like shit, her father hurt her big time, but like Damon she could mask her feelings quite well. After all she had some of his blood in her veins.

"Whatever. My father is an asshole who doesn't care about me at all. He's like a robot, you know? He hates vampires, so he hates me." She said sighing. "I'll deal with it, and I'll be more careful around people from now on.." She then said, focusing her look.

"Anyways..care to share about Damon?" She pratically whispered, since Damon was still downstairs.

I took a deep breath, smiling. "We're together. I mean, it's not like we've said 'hey so I'm your boo and you're mine', but last night we cuddled and kissed in his bed..and I pratically made him understand that I want to be with him." I said happily. "Oh, and we kissed again, this morning." I grinned. "You know with Damon it's always been like that. Actions speak louder than words..and he's always showed me how much he loves me. So I think that it's time for a change." I said firmly, thinking about his earlier attitude.

"You really love him Lena. And he really loves you too..I can see it from the way he looks at you. He has like a devotion in his eyes." She said half smiling, a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes though. "I'm happy for you. I wish I could find someone that loved me like he loves you." She confessed sadly.

"Oh, Care. Just because things with Matt didn't work out, it doesn't mean that you won't find someone else. And I thought that with Tyler…you know.." I offered, smirking.

She gave me a pointed look. "Seriously? We're friends. That is. Plus he's dating Slutty Sophie.." She said very annoyed, rolling her eyes.

My smirk was huge, and she snorted. "What?" She spat.

"Nothing..you just remind me of how I used to see my relationship with Damon. I was just like you, with the 'no no we're just friends' and then seeing him with other women was the most annoying thing ever." I cringed at the thought. So very annoying.

No, I was not a jealous type.

Yes, I was a jealous type with Damon.

She sighed deeply, shooking her head. "I don't know. I'm just confused right now." After a few seconds of silence she spoke again. "Anyways, since next week is your birthday, can I just..organize you a party? A little little party?" She asked tentatively, biting her bottom lip.

"Care..I'm not in the mood, really..we will party. But we're going to do a quiet thing just between us, okay?"

"But please! I swear I won't do anything too exaggerated." She pouted.

"Fine! But _nothing_ exaggerated." I remembered her, poiting my finger at her.

"Pinkie promise." She said as she entwined her finger with mine. I rolled my eyes amused.

"Now I should really go. I have to meet Tyler at the Grill." She said, with a little too much enthusiasm.

I raised my eyebrows at her, quizzically.

"What? I told you we're friends." She shrugged.

"Do you have any make-up in here?" When I shook my head no, she seemed annoyed. "Seriously, Elena? Well you better get some. You seem a zombie." She declared.

"Gee, thanks." I replied narrowing my eyes at her.

She was just like that, I was used to Caroline, and I wasn't a touchy person anyway.

"See ya' soon. Thank you for everything." She said kissing my cheek. I grabbed her hand, squeezing it. "Be careful." I said serious and she nodded.

* * *

><p>When I headed downstairs a little while after Caroline, I noticed that Damon wasn't there. I called his name a couple of times but nothing.<p>

I then checked my phone that was throwed somewhere on the couch. There were two messagges. One from Bonnie, and the other from Damon.

_"I REALLY need to talk to you. Tomorrow at the Grill at 1.00 pm? - B"_

_"Had to talk with Liz about something. Have fun with Barbie though. Be back soon. ;)"_

I replied to both of them.

_"Okay. I'll be there. Xoxo. 3"_

_"It's two nights that you're leaving me alone..see what you can do. :("_

I lazily streched on the couch. I checked my forehead and I seemed to be fine. After flipping channels for half an hour, I decided to cook something.

Usually Damon cooked for me when I was at the boarding house..he could really be a chef, he was just amazing in everything he prepared. I on the other hand had always been lazy and bad at cooking.

I ate a toast and drank a coke, deciding to wait for Damon on the couch.

After a while my eyes grow tired and I slowly fell asleep.

When I opened my eyes I saw that I was no longer on the couch. For a moment I felt lost, not taking hint of the place I started panicking. I then realized that I was in Damon's room and I immediatly relaxed.

I turned around, but Damon wasn't in the bed. I got up slowly, and just then I noticed the dark figure in front of the window, absently staring outside.

The reflex of the moon made him even more beautiful. I saw him playing with his ring, a serious expression on his face.

"Hey.." I murmured sleepily, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head on his back, closing my eyes. "It's late Damon. Come to bed." I said.

"You go, I don't feel like sleeping." He stated, turning his head a little and smiling tightly.

"Damon what is it?" I asked as I sensed that something was wrong. "Have you found out something about Stefan?" I said, immediatly concerned.

"No..actually, yes. But it's all the same. He and Klaus are moving quickly and it's always more difficult tracking them." He sighed discouraged.

I heard the pain in his voice. It was time to tell him the truth. I kissed his back, then stepping in front of him.

"About that…" I began, avoiding eye-contact. "Stefan called me last night. He said that he doesn't want to be found, that we need to stop following him." I said, looking in his eyes.

Surprisingly, he didn't seem upset or even surprised for that matter. "It's not a surprise. He doesn't want to be found because he enjoys his ripper days, I've been there before. Once he's in there's no coming back." He said looking away.

I wanted to tell him that maybe he was wrong. That maybe Stefan could still be saved from that kind of darkness. But truth be told, I was in loss of words. I wanted to find him, making sure that he was okay and bring him back..but Stefan lied to me before. About his past, about who he was. So who was I to really know if he wanted to be saved or not? I looked at him symphatetically, and I just held him. He weakly returned my embrace, and when I noticed that his body was stiff against mine I guessed that something esle was wrong.

"What's happening? Please Damon, tell me.." I said looking into his now very vulberable blue baby eyes. He looked so fragile.

"I don't know if this, us.." He sighed, and I immediatly started feeling bad about it. "is what you really need Elena. When Stefan left…part of me was glad about it, but not because that I actually thought that I had a chance in this world with you.." he laughed bitterly, "but because I thought that you could have forgot about him eventually. Move on. With an actual person, a _human_, just like you. That's the life that you deserve. You think I didn't notice how happy you looked when you were holding that baby today? You want them, Elena. A family, kids, a husband…I could never give those things to you even if I wanted to. And I want to..God, if I want to." He finished, sounding so vulnerable and lost that my heart just broke. I had to hold back my tears..seeing him like that just pained me. He worried his bottom lip, trying to be tough and hold on his facade.

"You don't want to be a vampire, and I totally get that. I know that being human is the thing that you should hold on to the most. But I am. I am a vampire. Which means that I won't, I _can't_ grow old with you, love." He said, cupping my face. "And I love you, Elena. I love you so so much. But I can't be selfish be with you because of this." He almost whispered.

I couldn't hold them back anymore. My tears were streaming down my face and when I almost started sobbing, I had to contain myself. What he just said was so right, but even so wrong. There wasn't a thing in this world that I wanted more than him. The actual thought of losing Damon made me feel sick. I could care less about having a freaking husband, a child or a happy lovely family if it wasn't with him.

What I felt for Damon was more bigger and real than what I ever felt for Stefan, that's why I was never really willing to sacrifice all those things for him.

Now it was my turn to cup his face, and I made sure that he was looking at me firmly in the eyes. "Listen to me, Damon. I _do_ want those things. But not as much as I want you. As cheesy as it might sound..you're my life. I hold on to you every day. I already lost so many people, how could I afford to lose the most important one? Please don't underestimate my feelings for you Damon, because I think you're doing." I said firmly.

He seemed both shocked and overhelmed at my words. "You're saying this now. But Elena..you don't know what you're talking about. You will probably change your mind in a few years. You will grow up and realize that those things matter more than anything for you, and you deserve to have them. To have some normality in your life. What if you realizes it when it's too late? I couldn't stand that, Elena." He said, shooking his head. "You've been trough this before, with Stefan. You know how it works and you made clear that you wanted to grow old and have a family, so I can't see the difference now."

I took a deep breath. "I love you, Damon. I do love you so much. And the difference is that what I feel for you is not even comparable to what I felt for Stefan, you have to believe me.." I said squeezing his hands so tight that if he wasn't a vampire his blood circulation would have probably stopped. I then purposely touched his ring. "yes, I wasn't ready to give up that life for Stefan. Deep down I knew that I wanted it more than him, I needed it more than him. But with you..you're on top of everything for me, Damon. Keep this in that mind of yours please." I stated serious.

He was speechless, it was rare to see Damon so vulnerable and emotionally weak. I realized that for him being chosen over everything, over _Stefan_, was something that he didn't believe possible. No one ever cared about him so genuinely and whole-heartily and I could see the pure devotion and gratitude in his face.

He kissed me passionately, holding me close to his strong body. I swear I felt my face getting wet..were these tears? I wasn't crying, though.

"Thank you." He kept murmuring between kisses. "I love you Elena." He said kissing my lips softly. "I love you because you made be become a better man." He said kissing my cheek. "I love you because you gave me my humanity back." He now said kissing my other cheek. "I love you because of how you make my feel." He kissed my nose. "I love you because you believe in me." He said kissing my eye-lids. "And most of all, I love how cheesy and oh-so chick flick thingy like we're sounding right now." He then said chuckling, kissing my forehead. I giggled as I kissed him one last time.

"Let's get some sleep, lovely-dovey vampire." I teased him and he rolled his eyes.

* * *

><p><em>Gilbert's House:<em>

"Enough!" Jeremy yelled, on the verge of losing it. "How many times I have to tell you to just leave me alone?" He yelled again, taking his head in his hands and closing his eyes, inhaling deeply.

"You can't make me leave, Jer. I don't want to." Vicky said, kneeling in front of him. "I love you. We can be together now." She said dreamily.

"Don't listen to her Jeremy. She's lying to you. I love you..we were meant to be together, remember? Do you remember how you wanted to be a vampire to be with me?" Anna suddenly appeared, sitting on the bed next to him.

"But you're dead. You're both dead. What's happening to me.." He said desperated, shooking his head.

He wasn't paying attention to them anymore, he was exhausted and honestly he just wanted them to leave him alone. It was becoming difficult to live and actually being in public places because of them.

It was 2.00 am, but he didn't care. He had to tell Bonnie.

When he got up, they quickly followed him.

"Where are you going?" Anna asked.

"To that witch, obviously." Vicky said in disgust.

"Yes! I'm going to Bonnie, who is my girl. I _love_ her, okay? I just want you to leave me alone..please..if you really care about me as you claim, then let me live." He tried reasoning with them.

Anna seemed hurt, but he could see that she was giving up. Vicky, on the other hand, just seemed more pissed off and irritated.

"I'm sorry, Jer..but if you can't be mine, then you can't be no one else's." She said almost apologetically, then taking the lighter on his desk, turning it on and throwing it on the floor as flames and smoke started to appear.

He grabbed the handle, but the door was locked.

Shit.


End file.
